Ian Black & Leslie Black 
Cats vs Dogs and Dogs vs Cats 

It is an eternal war. FOR THE CATS Cats are cool. There even used to be a TV programme called Cool for Cats, run by some human pretending to be cool. He wasn’t because only cats are cool. FOR THE DOGS Dogs aren’t cool. Dogs are warm. Dogs are dogged. When a dog loves you, he loves you through to the marrow of your bones and for ever. If they don’t have dogs in heaven, then I want to go where they do. The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog. A man’s dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and sickness. He will lick the hand that has no food to offer. He will guard the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. Consider: 'Cats are intelligent but only show it when they want to.’ 'Dogs are stupid and don’t care if they show it or not.’ 'Cats give food to whoever they are loyal to.’ 'Dogs are loyal to whoever gives them food. Even people who hit them.’ Doh! AND PICK A SIDE!

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Ian Black is an author, playwright, journalist and broadcaster. He has written and compiled numerous best-selling humour and quiz books including Weegies vs Edinbuggers, Mair/Merr Weegies vs Edinbuggers, Positive Thinking for Calvinists and The Tartan Army Songbook.