Robert E. Howard 
War on Bear Creek 

Pap dug the nineteenth buckshot out of my shoulder and said, 'Pigs is more disturbin’ to the peace of a community than scandal, divorce, and corn licker put together. And, ’ says pap, pausing to strop his bowie on my scalp where the hair was all burnt off, 'when the pig is a razorback hawg, and is mixed up with a lady schoolteacher, a English tenderfoot, and a passle of bloodthirsty relatives, the result is appallin’ for a peaceable man to behold. Hold still till John gits yore ear sewed back on.’