Ambrose Bierce 
Devil’s Dictionary 

"Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen." "Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law." "Positive: Mistaken at the top of one’s voice." These and more than 1, 000 other comic definitions appear in Ambrose Bierce’s wicked satire of conventional dictionaries. An ideal gift for lovers of language, this classic of American humor features a wealth of quips praised by H. L. Mencken as "some of the most gorgeous witticisms in the English language."